Sunday, June 26, 2011

After baby’s born, a friendship suffers


Q:My best friend and I have been extremely close since grade school, but now that I’m a new mum, I don’t have much time for her. She’s hurt, even though she knows my baby needs me. How do I make sure I maintain a friendship that is so dear to me?
— Submitted by Chrissie in Colorado Springs, Colo.

Dr. Kenneth N. Condrell, Ph.D.
Child Psychologist

A:You raise a good question, Chrissie. One of the biggest mistakes women make after becoming a mum is to let their friendships fade. So please do yourself a favor and make time to enjoy them. You many not have all the freedom and time you used to, but you certainly can find ways to continue your friendship. Not only will this be good for your mental health, but you also will be a happier mum. Don’t ignore your adult needs now that you are a mother. I see unhappy mothers in my office all the time who gave up their hobbies and friendships when children arrived.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Choosing the right toys for a 7 month old


How your 7-month old plays now:
  • He can support all of his weight if he's holding onto furniture.
  • She may be able to walk from place to place clinging to furniture.
  • From his tummy, he can creep forward.
  • She rocks when on her hands and knees.
  • With full color vision, he enjoys looking at complex objects—and will even move for a better view.
  • She responds to her name, recognizes voices and different tunes.
  • He starts cupping his hand around toys and can push them into his hand with his thumb.
  • Her eyes help her explore, and she uses them as a gauge when reaching out for objects.


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Body Tracing


Materials
  • Drawing paper
  • Crayons, coloured pencils, or washable markers
  • Water colours
  • Glitter glue or poster paint (optional)

Instructions
Have your grandchild stand on the paper while you trace around his feet. Use another sheet of paper and have him trace your feet. Compare sizes.
Place your grandchild’s hands on the paper and trace around them. Have him do the same for you, then compare the tracings.
Colour in the traced hands and feet. If you like, use water colours, glitter glue, or poster paint to add rings and polish to the fingers and toes

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Tummy Talk *



Your baby begins learning speech and language long before he utters his first word. Besides talking to your baby, try a little Tummy Talk. It makes speech and language a sensory experience.

Learning Skills
           
•Body awareness
•Language development
•Sensory-motor exploration
•Social interaction

Materials:
•           Your mouth
•           Soft blanket

What to do:
1. Remove your baby's clothes (nappy optional) and place him on a blanket, on his back
2. Kneel down beside your baby, chat for a mument, and gently rub his tummy.
3. Now it's time for Tummy Talk. Press your face and lips onto your baby's tummy, and talk, sing, recite a nursery rhyme, or just make up funny words. Vary the pitch and loudness of your voice as you speak.
4. Add a few kisses each time you finish your words.
5. Sit up and smile at your baby after each Tummy Talk. Your baby should be giggling while you play and anticipating the next ticklish chat.

Safety:  Don't speak too loudly; you don't want to startle your baby. And if you play this game with a naked baby, keep a nappy nearby, in case of a sudden tinkle!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Baby's shots; how to help her through the “ouchies.”


Q: My daughter will be going to get her first shots. What’s the best way to make her feel safe, and not be in so much pain from the needles?
— Submitted by Dawn in McEwen
A:Karen Sokal-Gutierrez, M.D., M.P.H.
Dawn, the first shots sometimes bring out as many tears from parents as from babies. But rest assured you’re doing the right thing by getting your baby immunized to protect her from many serious illnesses. It’s recommended that babies get immunized against 11 diseases: hepatitis B, haemophilus influenza type B, polio, diptheria, pertussis (whooping cough), tetanus, pneumococcus, measles, mumps, rubella (german measles), and varicella (chicken pox). In many cases, several vaccines are combined into a single shot. Children need to get shots and boosters at birth and 2, 4, 6, and 12-18 months of age; and then before kindergarten at 4-6 years of age.

Babies are often given several different shots at each medical visit. The shots do hurt a little, but only for a few seconds. Your baby might cry for a minute or so. Here are some tips for making your baby more comfortable with her shots:
  • Consider giving your baby a dummy for the shots. Studies have shown that sucking on a dummy can distract babies from painful sensations and give them a way to comfort themselves.
  • Talk to your baby in a soothing voice when she’s getting the shots. You may also try to distract her with a toy.
  • Hold and comfort your baby immediately after the shots.
Here are some tips for helping a toddler or older child feel more comfortable with shots:
  • Explain in advance that she’ll get a shot and why it’s important to protect her from getting sick.
  • Be honest that the shot will hurt a little, but you’ll help her.
  • Let her practice giving a pretend shot to you or a doll.
  • Allow her to choose which arm to get the shot in and to open the bandage.
  • Help her relax or distract her during the shot by blowing, counting or singing.
  • Praise her and comfort her immediately afterwards.
Consider giving her a little reward for cooperating.

Monday, June 20, 2011

How not to raise a brat


Dr. Kenneth N. Condrell, Ph.D.
Child Psychologist

No parent wants to raise a brat, so, let's make sure you don't! In my opinion, the best way to not raise bratty children is to learn the mistakes that go into making a brat. This may seem like an unusual approach, but once you've learned what to do wrong; you will have greater confidence about what to do right. Here are the steps to take if you want to raise a demanding, selfish, rude, self-centered rascal who couldn't care less about rules and the feelings of others:


  • Make sure you rarely point it out to your child when he is doing something wrong. To raise a brat, you need to be permissive and allow your child to get away with all sorts of things (look around the next time you go shopping and you'll see parents allowing their children to behave inappropriately.) The crucial point here is that you don't want to give your child any idea he is bothering you or someone else. You see, a child who is a brat never learns that his behaviour is troublesome for others; he just enjoys himself at everyone's expense.


  • If you give your child feedback about how awful his behaviour is, make sure to do it in a wimpy way--in other words, give him a watered-down reprimand. Here's how: scold your child, but at the same time, look at him adoringly. Your words will express disapproval, but your facial expression will be saying, 'You are so precious to me.' In this way, your scolding will immediately be washed away by your sweet, loving look, and this will convince your little one that you really don't mean what you say. Your attention and adoring look will encourage him to return to his pesty behaviour before you can blink an eye.


  • One of the best ways to train your child to be a brat is to set a limit and naively go on to something else, never expecting your child to break your rule. So set limits, and then quickly go off and do something else that takes your attention away from your child. For example, tell your little boy not to get in the car parked in the driveway to play. After giving your son this instruction, walk away. Since most children will test their parents to see if they really mean what they say, chances are high your son will get in the car (Walking away or becoming distracted is the mistake you want to avoid, because most children will do what you just warned them not to do. And weak limit-setting teaches that persistence pays off.)


  • Make sure you take your child everywhere you go and include him in most, if not all, of your adult activities. I can't tell you the number of times I was invited to dinner, only to be sitting next to a 2-year-old dining at 9:00 p.m.! By doing everything with your child, you are teaching him one of the most important lessons a brat learns: 'mummy and Daddy do not have a separate life from me, and I can expect always to be the centre of attention and more important than anyone else.'


  • Make it a habit of giving in to your child when his behavior is miserable. This teaches a child that awful behavior brings him what he wants.

Now, let me turn this around and give you the prescription for not creating a brat:

  1. Say 'no' and mean it.


  1. Never give in to your child when his behavior is miserable.


  1. Have an adult life, leave the kids home sometimes and nurture your marriage.


  1. Scold your child when necessary and mean it, even if you have to pretend you're upset.


  1. Give your child feedback lovingly when he bothers others.


  1. Set limits, expect them to be broken, and pay attention to what happens next. Follow-up with another reprimand, if necessary. In this way you will communicate, 'I mean what I say.'

  1. All children act bratty from time to time, especially when they are tired and not feeling well. But a real brat is another story, and these children can make parenting a joyless experience and cause parents to feel like failures. I hope that now you know how not to raise a brat, you'll be on your way to a more stress-free life as a parent!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Choosing the right toys for your 1 month old


How your 1 month old plays now:
  • Baby can see objects 8-10 inches away but can't make out details or the full color spectrum.
  • He follows objects slowly with her eyes over very short distances.
  • She mimics simple facial expressions and, when someone speaks to her, looks intently.
  • He's startled by loud or unexpected noises.
  • Her fists are closed



Why your baby will enjoy this toy now:

A mobile does more than look nice; it helps your child focus and improve vision. Watching objects move up above stimulates visual tracking, and if your mobile offers music or sounds, that can enhance baby's listening skills. And the soothing rhythm of repetitive sights and sounds can help remind baby that it's time to rest.

What you can do to help your baby learn more:

Music can be soothing to baby, and not just when he's drifting off to sleep. To extend the benefits offered by a mobile's selection of music, play similar music for baby at other times of the day and in different settings.
Help music become integral to your child's life by branching out and playing different types of music—it's fun to watch your baby's reactions change!
Don't be too shy to sing along or hum to the music. You'll find that as you do, your baby becomes more vocal too!
As the mobile goes around, encourage baby to take notice of his surroundings by pointing out the mobile's features, colors, characters or lights if it has them.
It helps to see what your baby sees, so try to position yourself so you can see the mobile from baby's point of view. Change the mobile's position every once in a while, or change your baby's position so he gets a new view.
Right from the start, your baby will listen to and respond to your voice. Use this connection to verbally point things out about the mobile—the colors, the movement, the characters that dangle from it. Watch to see what's appealing to your baby: if he seems to take more delight in one feature, then focus on it a bit more to reinforce his visual interest.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Leaf art

A delightful way for kids to develop an appreciation for the beauty of nature is by enjoying nature arts and crafts.


Materials
  • Glue and liquid tempera paint or food colouring; or thinned coloured glue
  • Paintbrush
  • 2 equal-size sheets of wax paper
  • Colourful leaves
  • Flowers, pine needles, and other natural objects (optional)
  • Glitter
  • Hole punch
  • Piece of string, less than12” in length.

Instructions
  • Mix glue with paint or food colouring, or use coloured glue thinned with a little water.
  • Paint the glue onto one sheet of wax paper.
  • The paper should be well coated with glue.
  • Have your child stick colourful leaves onto the paper.
  • If you like, add other natural objects.
  • Sprinkle glitter over the leaves.
  • Paint glue onto the other sheet of wax paper, then place it on top of the first sheet.
  • Press the sheets together, punch a hole near the top, then use string to hang the picture in a window.
The Day after tomorrow is Father’s day wrapping this neat gift and giving it to his father will be a great idea! 


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Play Puppet *


As your baby’s vision improves, he can see objects more clearly at greater distances. To work on his focusing and tracking skills, keep a Play Puppet “handy” for feeding, changing, or play time.

Learning Skills
           
•Language development
•Social interaction      
•Visual acuity

Materials:
           Clean white sock
           Permanent felt-tip markers

What to do:
1. Buy a pair of white socks, large enough to fit over your hands.
2. Use permanent felt-tip markers to draw eyes, eyebrows, noses, and ears on the socks’ toes. Outline the heels to create mouths, and draw red tongues inside the folds.
3. Place your baby in your lap, on the changing table, or in his infant seat.
4. Slip one puppet onto your hand and entertain your baby with songs, rhymes, or simple conversation. Slip the second puppet onto your other hand for two-handed fun.

Safety:  Don't let your baby suck on the sock, since the ink might come off.

Monday, June 13, 2011

At what age can children learn to swim?


Q: My daughter is 2 weeks old. At what age is it appropriate to teach a child how to swim?
— Submitted by Yeydie in Reading
A:Karen Sokal-Gutierrez, M.D., M.P.H.
Yeydie, thanks for your question about swimming.

Infant and toddler water play programs are becoming more and more popular. They provide a chance to introduce your baby to playing in water and for you to enjoy playing in the water together with your baby. As long as the water is warm and the play is gentle and safe, many babies enjoy this experience.

It’s probably a good idea to wait at least a few more months, until your baby has developed good head control around 6 months of age. Other reasons to wait are that younger infants are more at risk for catching illnesses from the water and getting too cold.

Here’s a major note of caution: don’t confuse infant-toddler water play with swimming lessons. Even if your baby becomes comfortable in water, don’t think that she’s safe from drowning. The highest risk for drowning is among 1 to 2-year-olds, and infant-toddler water play programs have not been shown to reduce the risk of drowning. When you’re in or around water with your child, keep your eye on her at all times and always stay within arm’s reach.

Although some children can learn to swim in their first few years, most children are not developmentally ready to learn to swim until they’re 4 or 5 years old. For actual swimming lessons, it’s best to wait until your daughter is developmentally ready and she shows you that she wants to learn.

Infant massage:The power of touch




Dr. Kathleen Alfano, Ph.D.
Director of Child Research at Fisher-Price®

Want to help baby feel better and sleep longer? Give your infant a massage. It only has to last a few minutes to benefit your baby with the soothing stimulation of your touch. Pick a time when baby isn't fussy and seems receptive to lying down naked on a comfy towel or blanket in a warm room. Then, to begin:

  •  First, rub your hands with a baby-safe oil or cream.
  • Introduce the massage to your baby by running your fingers lightly over baby's body. If baby seems happy, continue to the next step, but if baby is fussy, try again later.
  • Your first massage move: Make an "X" on baby's chest by running a hand from baby's waist on the right side to up under the left arm. Pass through the middle of baby's chest each time.
  • Next, try making small clockwise circles on baby's stomach, around the bellybutton, which helps ease digestion.
  • To finish the chest, run your hands down the front of baby alternating left hand and then right hand.
  • Now it's time for baby's limbs. Begin by holding the top of one of baby's arms in both your hands. Massage by moving your hands in opposite directions, starting at the top of the arm and moving down to the wrist. Finish by stroking baby's palm with your thumb. Repeat with the other arm.
  • Next do the same massaging motion on one of baby's legs. Start at the thigh and rub all the way down to the ankle. Press your thumb into baby heel to finish, then repeat with the other leg.
  • Slowly rotate baby's legs in a bicycle-riding pattern, which can help ease petrol pain.
  • Now you can move on to baby's face. Smooth your fingers across baby's forehead and use your thumbs to gently massage circles at baby's temples.
  • Finally, go for the big finish. Turn baby over and rub the palms of your hands back and forth across baby's back, keeping them going in opposite directions. Turn baby around again and with luck, you little one will be ready for a nap

Infant Massage: The Power of Touch




Dr. Kathleen Alfano, Ph.D.
Director of Child Research at Fisher-Price®

Want to help baby feel better and sleep longer? Give your infant a massage. It only has to last a few minutes to benefit your baby with the soothing stimulation of your touch. Pick a time when baby isn't fussy and seems receptive to lying down naked on a comfy towel or blanket in a warm room. Then, to begin:

  •  First, rub your hands with a baby-safe oil or cream.
  • Introduce the massage to your baby by running your fingers lightly over baby's body. If baby seems happy, continue to the next step, but if baby is fussy, try again later.
  • Your first massage move: Make an "X" on baby's chest by running a hand from baby's waist on the right side to up under the left arm. Pass through the middle of baby's chest each time.
  • Next, try making small clockwise circles on baby's stomach, around the bellybutton, which helps ease digestion.
  • To finish the chest, run your hands down the front of baby alternating left hand and then right hand.
  • Now it's time for baby's limbs. Begin by holding the top of one of baby's arms in both your hands. Massage by moving your hands in opposite directions, starting at the top of the arm and moving down to the wrist. Finish by stroking baby's palm with your thumb. Repeat with the other arm.
  • Next do the same massaging motion on one of baby's legs. Start at the thigh and rub all the way down to the ankle. Press your thumb into baby heel to finish, then repeat with the other leg.
  • Slowly rotate baby's legs in a bicycle-riding pattern, which can help ease petrol pain.
  • Now you can move on to baby's face. Smooth your fingers across baby's forehead and use your thumbs to gently massage circles at baby's temples.
  • Finally, go for the big finish. Turn baby over and rub the palms of your hands back and forth across baby's back, keeping them going in opposite directions. Turn baby around again and with luck, you little one will be ready for a nap

Sunday, June 12, 2011

How do you encourage sibling bonding?


Q:How do you encourage sibling bonding?
— Submitted by Stacey


Dr. Bettye M. Caldwell, Ph.D.
Professor of Pediatrics in Child Development and Education

A:For the most part, this sort of bonding occurs without any specific parental encouragement, although there can be (and usually is) plenty of bickering and quarreling and fighting along the way between the sibs. Bonding occurs quite naturally in any situation in which there is shared love and a multitude of pleasurable experiences. This is true regardless of whether we are talking about men and women, parents and children, teachers and pupils, or siblings. But in today’s world of reconstituted and blended families, with full-, half-, and step-siblings often sharing—or feeling left out of—the parental love core, it is probably not as easy as I make it sound.

Bonding seems to be a little easier for later children than for the first child; the first child has had the parents all to himself, something the younger children never experienced. Be careful not to give the older child too many responsibilities for the younger one. In helping sibling bonds develop, it is important that parental love should be perceived by the children as broad enough to cover all the children. Otherwise, the “unloved child” will be resentful and jealous and eager to reach the point where the sibling tie can be broken by schooling or work. With the mobility that characterizes our contemporary social life, a special effort may be necessary to help sibling ties retain their strength. That effort has to come both from the parents and from the siblings themselves. But it is worth the effort, as sibling bonds can be among the strongest and most rewarding established across the life span. Certainly this has been true in my life.

How do you encourage sibling bonding?


Q:How do you encourage sibling bonding?
— Submitted by Stacey


Dr. Bettye M. Caldwell, Ph.D.
Professor of Pediatrics in Child Development and Education

A:For the most part, this sort of bonding occurs without any specific parental encouragement, although there can be (and usually is) plenty of bickering and quarreling and fighting along the way between the sibs. Bonding occurs quite naturally in any situation in which there is shared love and a multitude of pleasurable experiences. This is true regardless of whether we are talking about men and women, parents and children, teachers and pupils, or siblings. But in today’s world of reconstituted and blended families, with full-, half-, and step-siblings often sharing—or feeling left out of—the parental love core, it is probably not as easy as I make it sound.

Bonding seems to be a little easier for later children than for the first child; the first child has had the parents all to himself, something the younger children never experienced. Be careful not to give the older child too many responsibilities for the younger one. In helping sibling bonds develop, it is important that parental love should be perceived by the children as broad enough to cover all the children. Otherwise, the “unloved child” will be resentful and jealous and eager to reach the point where the sibling tie can be broken by schooling or work. With the mobility that characterizes our contemporary social life, a special effort may be necessary to help sibling ties retain their strength. That effort has to come both from the parents and from the siblings themselves. But it is worth the effort, as sibling bonds can be among the strongest and most rewarding established across the life span. Certainly this has been true in my life.

How do you encourage sibling bonding?


Q:How do you encourage sibling bonding?
— Submitted by Stacey


Dr. Bettye M. Caldwell, Ph.D.
Professor of Pediatrics in Child Development and Education

A:For the most part, this sort of bonding occurs without any specific parental encouragement, although there can be (and usually is) plenty of bickering and quarreling and fighting along the way between the sibs. Bonding occurs quite naturally in any situation in which there is shared love and a multitude of pleasurable experiences. This is true regardless of whether we are talking about men and women, parents and children, teachers and pupils, or siblings. But in today’s world of reconstituted and blended families, with full-, half-, and step-siblings often sharing—or feeling left out of—the parental love core, it is probably not as easy as I make it sound.

Bonding seems to be a little easier for later children than for the first child; the first child has had the parents all to himself, something the younger children never experienced. Be careful not to give the older child too many responsibilities for the younger one. In helping sibling bonds develop, it is important that parental love should be perceived by the children as broad enough to cover all the children. Otherwise, the “unloved child” will be resentful and jealous and eager to reach the point where the sibling tie can be broken by schooling or work. With the mobility that characterizes our contemporary social life, a special effort may be necessary to help sibling ties retain their strength. That effort has to come both from the parents and from the siblings themselves. But it is worth the effort, as sibling bonds can be among the strongest and most rewarding established across the life span. Certainly this has been true in my life.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

What toys to buy a 4 month old?



How your  4 month old plays now:
  • He laughs, squirms and squeals with delight.
  • With your help, she can reach for things.
  • He's interested in watching his hands move.
  • She can recognize familiar faces and takes an interest in others.
  • He can grasp toys that he touches.

Toys with variety of Sounds, Bright Colors & Light


Why your baby will enjoy this toy now:

Bright colors and lights are easiest for baby to see right now. When you introduce sights, sounds and textures to your baby, you help stimulate the senses and prepare a memory bank of experiences that feed imaginative thinking.

What you can do to help your baby learn more:

Set the stage for the pretend play that's to come in the months ahead. Before you start playing point out the different features of the toy to your baby. Have fun by activating the different lights and sounds for baby.
Encourage your child to vocalize to the music, and sing along with baby as you go.
When baby seems to need attention while you're busy nearby, start the music and lights to keep him entertained.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Jellybean Picture

Whether you're getting ready for a special occasion or just looking for a fun way to spend time on a rainy day, making edible crafts for kids is always enjoyable and delicious. So next time your child has a craving for fun, try one of this edible craft!


 Materials
  • Ornamental frosting
  • Piece of cardboard covered with aluminum foil
  • Jellybeans (not for children under 3 years)

Instructions
  • Spread the frosting on the aluminum foil.
  • Have your child arrange the jellybeans on the frosting to create a picture or design. She can eat her design later, if she likes.
  • Use this project as a seasonal activity—use pastel jellybeans at Easter, green and red gumdrops at Christmas, and so on.

Safety
Jellybeans are a choking hazard for young children, so this activity is not appropriate for children under 3 years of age.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Sticker Fun *

This treasure hunt will have your baby searching right under her nose. With this game of hide-and-seek, your baby's whole body is a winner!
You'll be helping your 18 to 24-month-old's development when you try this fun activity together.



Learning Skills

•Body awareness
•Fine motor development
•Object permanence
•Social interaction

Materials:
• 20 to 30 paper stickers
• Paper and pencil
• Your baby's body

What to do:
1. Buy a variety of paper stickers that will interest your baby.
2. Write a list of all the stickers so you can identify them.
3. Draw an outline of your baby's body on a sheet of paper, both front and back.
4. Stand your baby in the middle of the room and apply stickers all over her body —some hidden, some in plain sight.
5. Read the name of one of the stickers from the list.
6. Have your baby try to find that particular sticker hidden on her body.
7. When she finds it, have her remove it and stick it in the appropriate place on the paper body outline.
8. Continue until all the stickers have been moved from your baby's body to the paper body.

Safety: Don't put any stickers in your baby's hair, and make sure to retrieve all the stickers when the game is over.

Monday, June 6, 2011

How and how often do we bathe our newborn?


Q:What should we know about giving our soon-to-be-born baby a bath? Do babies need to have a tub bath every day or is a sponge bath enough? What should we expect and what should we avoid?
— Submitted by Danny and Olivia in Newton

Dr. Karen Sokal-Gutierrez, M.D., M.P.H.
Pediatrics

A: Danny and Olivia, it’s great that both of you are thinking ahead about sharing in the care of your baby. Bath time can be a wonderful opportunity for mums and dads to bond with your baby. Remember that bath time is not just about getting clean. It’s a chance to talk with, sing to, play with, caress and comfort your baby.

Here are some tips for bathing your baby:

1. Bathe your baby two to three times a week. Many people think that babies need to have a bath every day, but that can dry out your baby’s skin. If you clean your baby’s bottom well during nappy changes, bathing two to three times a week is enough.

2. Have your supplies on hand. You will need:

  • A basin, plastic bathing tub, or sink

  • Warm water (To prevent burning your baby, check the temperature on your wrist or elbow to make sure it’s not too hot.)

  • Mild baby soap (Don’t use adult soaps with perfumes, deodorants or antiperspirants, which can irritate a baby’s skin.)

  • Baby shampoo

  • A washcloth or soft sponge

  • A cup for scooping water

  • Towels (Baby towels with hoods are good to keep their head warm and dry.)




3. For a newborn, start with sponge baths. This is necessary to keep the umbilical cord dry until it falls off. For most babies, this happens within the first three weeks of life. You can sponge bathe your baby in a basin, plastic bathing tub or sink. Place a towel or sponge cushion underneath your baby to pad the hard surface and prevent him from slipping. Since newborns are often sensitive to their skin being exposed, bathe him in a warm room and keep him wrapped in a towel, exposing parts of his body as you wash them.

4. Once the cord falls off, you can place your baby in the water for a bath. At first, keep tub baths brief. If your baby seems unhappy in the water, continue sponge baths until your baby is ready. Over time, your baby will enjoy spending more time playing and splashing in the bath.

5. Some more safety and hygiene tips:
To prevent burns, mix hot and cold water and check its temperature before setting your baby in the water.

To prevent drowning, always hold your baby with at least one hand, and keep her face and chest above the water. If you need to leave the room to get something or answer the phone or door, wrap your baby in a towel and take her with you. Never leave your baby alone in the bath.

Many people wash their babies’ faces and hair first, their bodies second and finally their bottoms. This ensures that the water and washcloth used for the face doesn’t have germs from the stool. But if your baby is uncomfortable when you wash her face and hair, consider washing them at the end with a clean, damp washcloth.

To prevent shampoo getting in your baby’s eyes when rinsing his hair, tip his head backward and cup your hand over his forehead so the water drains to the side.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

A Four-Step Approach to Dealing with Childhood Phobias

Dr. Kenneth N. Condrell, Ph.D.
Child Psychologist

Sometime between the ages of 2 and 3, it dawns on children that bad things can happen to them. Some of their fears, like being eaten by monsters, are unrealistic while others, like being stung by a bee, are grounded in real possibilities.

Researchers at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University are having a great deal of success helping children conquer their fears. Psychology professor Thomas Ollendick has received a $1.6 million grant from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) to study the issue.

In this article, I will descote Ollendick’s approach and make suggestions of how you can use it to help your children deal with their fears.


Step 1: Desensitization

The first step of the program relies on a strategy called desensitization. By desensitizing, I mean exposing your child to what he fears in increasing doses. For example, a child fearful of snakes would start off being exposed to worms. Then you would show him pictures of small snakes before taking him to look at baby snakes behind a glass window. If you have a child who’s afraid of bees, you’d start out by looking through picture books of bugs. Next you might buy a bug cage at a toy store so your child could safely study them.

The goal of desensitization is to build up a child’s confidence. Desensitization programs have worked successfully for adults, by the way. Some people with a fear of flying begin to overcome their phobia by sitting in a grounded airplane.




Step 2: What are you Afraid of?

The next step is to find out what your child fears will happen. What does she think the bee will do to her? She may reply that the bee might chase and sting her—or, if she’s afraid of dogs, that the dog would knock her down and bite her.

Once you know exactly what your child fears will happen, make up a game so she can test her predictions. For example, you could go to a pet store with a play area where people interested in buying a puppy can interact with the prospective pet. Usually, a little audience forms around this area. In being part of that group, your child can test out her prediction: Did the puppy bite anyone? Next, ask a neighbor or relative who owns big, gentle dog if you can visit the animal.

Step 3: Feeling Safe and Secure

Once you have accomplished step two, give your child safety tips about the thing she fears. In the case of dogs, instruct a child to ask the animal’s owner if the pet is friendly before approaching a strange dog. If a child is afraid of lightening, offer tips on how to be safe during a lightning storm.

In the case of bees, let the fearful child know that she can just walk away from the insects, which are much more interested in pollinating flowers, anyway. Also, reinforce how much bigger your child is than the bee. Find a dead bee to drive home your point; remind your child that bees are very scared of her.

Step 4: Act it Out

The last step is to model the actual experience your child fears. For example, you could pet and play with a dog while your child observes. Or she can watch from a distance as you approach bees pollinating flowers. By doing this, your child gets to see you being unafraid and reacting appropriately under the circumstances—going to another spot in the yard if the bees buzz too closely, for example.

As you can tell, this four-step approach takes patience and time. But it’s more effective than just demanding that a fearful child be a big girl or boy. Try it and find out!